Romance With A Twist Gifts

'You don't really care about sex. You just want the prizes for the first baby of the New Year.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Woman at Chocolate Lovers Leap, with coffin-shaped selection box at foot of cliff,

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"...until death do you a favor."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Online Dating

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"Florets! How lovely, I'd better put them in some boiling water."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"Now will you do something funny."

"I never actually said I was spiderman...I just said that no one has ever seen us in the same room together."

She never could tell when he was being sarcastic.

'I got you 10 roses. I believe strong relationships are based on the metric system.'

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

The Clown Hit

Happy Valentine's Day

'Group hug anyone?'

Nothing like a Valentine from my boyfriend David... the cardiologist.

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

'Do you , Cynthia, who is completely free of any genetic engineering, take Rodney, who is equally free...'

"Date night again already?"

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'