Comedy With A Twist Gifts

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

The Clown Hit

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Woman at Chocolate Lovers Leap, with coffin-shaped selection box at foot of cliff,

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

'What are you implying?'

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

'I don't know. . . Nobody has ever requested a doggy bag before. . .'

Genetically Modified Apples

Football coaches get up to mischief

Witch Rowing Team

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."

'That is really sick John.'

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

'You don't really care about sex. You just want the prizes for the first baby of the New Year.'

"We pay top dollar here at hell hole high."

'Just the one, thanks.'