Comedy With A Twist Pillows

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

Friday The 13th, The Final Chapter.

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

The Clown Hit

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

Woman at Chocolate Lovers Leap, with coffin-shaped selection box at foot of cliff,

'What are you implying?'

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

I swear to tell the truth, but not solemnly.

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

Genetically Modified Apples

'I don't know. . . Nobody has ever requested a doggy bag before. . .'

Football coaches get up to mischief

'That is really sick John.'

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."

Witch Rowing Team

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

'You don't really care about sex. You just want the prizes for the first baby of the New Year.'

"We pay top dollar here at hell hole high."