Twisted Romantic Gifts

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"...until death do you a favor."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Online Dating

Romance of Radio Astronomy

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"Now will you do something funny."

She never could tell when he was being sarcastic.

"I never actually said I was spiderman...I just said that no one has ever seen us in the same room together."

'I got you 10 roses. I believe strong relationships are based on the metric system.'

The princess and the key

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

'Group hug anyone?'

Nothing like a Valentine from my boyfriend David... the cardiologist.

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

Woman at Chocolate Lovers Leap, with coffin-shaped selection box at foot of cliff,

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"

'Do you , Cynthia, who is completely free of any genetic engineering, take Rodney, who is equally free...'