Romance Researcher T-Shirts

"I've finished all the background checks and consulted a psychological profiler to see if they can identify any problem areas."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Carbon Dating.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Sitting in a tree

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

Sexual chemistry set

Baker Romance

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

"I know what you're thinking - all I am to you is a vector."

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

How oysters get engaged.

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

"Wow! Check out the moon."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."

Cupid and parachutists.

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

'You had me at 'C - R C = (2 x S X).'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

Single men in Tahiti

Perfect Match

"I've finally found my soulmate."

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'