Role Seeker Gifts

"...It's just that I feel I've become typecast."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Career opportunities

How are you at decision making?

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Opening the door to new customers

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

In and Out Sourced.