Role Seeker Gifts

"...It's just that I feel I've become typecast."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Career opportunities

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

How are you at decision making?

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

In and Out Sourced.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Opening the door to new customers

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"I don't like your application."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.