Rod Laughers Gifts

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

A Club Sandwitch.

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

King and Jester

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

"You know very well what fish!"

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

Wee Folks Daycare

Burp!

Baby thinks: I smile, they smile. I laugh, they laugh. I think they're teachable!

'You better have a hunting license.'

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

"Have you tried burping him?"