License Laughers Gifts

'You better have a hunting license.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

"It was 'im wot ruffled me bonce, judge, as I was politely getting into 'is car."

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

'Keep this to yourself, Henderson, this will fund our research for the next ten years!'

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

'And in order to make the experience of court less intimidating...'

'I'm here for trying to keep my nose clean. I got caught stealing a packet of tissues.'

"So, David. Do you have a permit for that weapon?"

'Here's your license!'

'The jury foreman says they need more time to find the quarter they were flipping!'

'Could you sentence my client to just quality time, your honor?'

'Do you swear to tell the truth even though you'd be crazy not to lie?'

'I'll give it to you straight - This disease is almost IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce.'

'Ooh look, the Palestinians want to bring a case against Israel!'

'No, I'm not part of an elaborate kickback scheme.'

"This is an insult to everyone who carpools."

'Wanna bet they don't have telly licences?'

'Your honor, we the jury have looked really hard out the window all day and would like to go home.'