License Laughter Gifts

'Here's your license!'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

A baby in court

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

Judge chasing fly with gavel.

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'You better have a hunting license.'

Courtroom. Next time I wouldn't say "Convincingly, I hope" when the judge asks how you plead.

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

"We find the defendant guilty on all charges, Your Honor. On the positive side, we really liked his openness and energy."

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

"My client claims the verdict discriminates against guilty people."

'It all started when I told him I resented people calling lawyers assholes, because I'm an asshole.'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

'...please instruct the puppet to remain silent and let the witness answer for himself.'

Judge Duels

'Legal say that 'Be my Valentine' opens us up to sexual harrassment claims, they suggest 'dear individual of indeterminate or any gender would you consider accepting the role of being my person of special interest'.'

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

"Case dismissed for obvious reasons."

Consumer Safety Testing Lab. Bake-it Toy Oven. We have lots of work to do --- Now get the lead out!

Judge banging down gavel on mouse by mistake.

"Well, I made you a job offer and you accepted. I guess the only thing left is for me to read you your Miranda rights."