Language Laughers Gifts

'I'll give it to you straight - This disease is almost IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"It's okay. That's just adult-speak for hot dogs."

'I could murder a pint!'

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.

"I don't care how it's pronounced, I want it."

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

"The ad was a typo. We're looking for an expert in fingerprinting...not finger painting."

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

Jenkins discovers the dark underworld of palindrome chatrooms.

"Incentivize me with a paradigm of mesculin greens and grilled chicken."

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

Fart. Le Poot.

'It's for you.'

'I speak three languages, if you include text-ese and my fake British accent.'

'Are you willing to carry a chip on your shoulder.'

"I'm Eggspecting."

On the third day of Christmas...

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

'Sometimes, I think that men imagine us smarter than we really are...What on earth does that mean?...'

Millennials Eye Chart

"Chiminelas caranchita!"

See Gull.