Language Laughers Gifts

'I'll give it to you straight - This disease is almost IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'I'll keep my remarks brief.'

"It's okay. That's just adult-speak for hot dogs."

"Hey how do you spell Abominable?"

Jenkins discovers the dark underworld of palindrome chatrooms.

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

"I don't care how it's pronounced, I want it."

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

"The ad was a typo. We're looking for an expert in fingerprinting...not finger painting."

'I could murder a pint!'

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.

Fart. Le Poot.

"Incentivize me with a paradigm of mesculin greens and grilled chicken."

Thirteen states sounds so unlucky --- Are you sure we can't Nova Scotia to join?

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

'It's for you.'

'I speak three languages, if you include text-ese and my fake British accent.'

"I'm Eggspecting."

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

'Are you willing to carry a chip on your shoulder.'

Nickel-and-dimed to death.

On the third day of Christmas...

'Sometimes, I think that men imagine us smarter than we really are...What on earth does that mean?...'

"Chiminelas caranchita!"

Millennials Eye Chart