Rocky Reader Gifts

"Before we start our discussion, has everyone read this week's book."

Great British Eccentrics.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'My daughter says I'm hopelessly outdated...'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

'Bront?saurus.'

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Jane Austen

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

'Good book?'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

Books*. *Batteries not included.

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Casual skydiving.

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

Louse and garden...

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

Gigolo Diary

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

You read the instruction manual for a video game for your book report?

Older cousin press

Car's bumper sticker reads: 'My other car is a bookmobile.'