Royalty Reader Gifts

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

''Hear ye, hear ye!' - I mean, 'Once upon a time,...'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You can just forget about the cake.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

A king and his paperwork.

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

Cat king.

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'