Rockstar Reverent Gifts

The Beatitudes.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Fuzz - Max smashes his guitar.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

This is forever... till death do us part...

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'