Rock Star Gifts

Robert Smith - The Cure.

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

'Dude, I've been in this band for over an hour now, and I haven't seen one groupie. Maybe punk rock is dead.'

Rod Stewart

'Cause I'm a cowboy in a steel pen I hiiiiide and I'm wanted grilled or stir-friiiiied!'

"And this is Brother Elvis."

"A reunion tour sounds good. Assuming we can afford the extra bus to haul your medication."

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'Actually, I became a violent, obscene rock star because I wanted to help people.'

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Mick Jagger

Beatles reunion circa 2003.

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

Robert Fripp

Iggy Pop

Ronnie Wood

Marilyn Mason.

"I have a lot in common with Cliff Richard. Same birthday, same age..."

After leaving the monastery, which one of these guys invented rock 'n' roll?

Band Aid-style rock stars wear T-shirts that read : 'Feed my ego'.

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

'I don't know about you lot but I've just played Proud Mary.'

"You'll just have to take our word for it that these backstage passes were really awesome thirty years ago."

Dead rock star plays loud music in heaven

Natural Disaster This Way...

Jimi Hendrix Picks A Guitar

'Heavy Metal or not, I'm your mother! One bad word, and I'm going to wash out your mouth with this bar of soap'!

Freddie Mercury

'You got that backward, bro. . . I'm cryin' all the time because I ain't nothin' but a hound dog. . .'

'Was it good for you, babe?'

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

Jimi Hendrix.

Ace Frehley

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.