Rock Skipper Gifts

Rock - see you in a million years!

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

A private jet takes off

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

The first animation.

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

Music from the moon.

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

New York Sightseeing Cruises

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

Young against old

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

The Empire State Building's design was modified slightly after the 1933 'incident'!

Beach Bouncer

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

'My folks are away and I have the ship. What do you say we go out and do some crop circles?'

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

'You want us to go fishing tomorrow? Wait, I've got to check my appointment book.'

fat woman passed her handbag to husband before getting weighed.

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

'Caution wet deck'

What the world is like when you are in a hurry.

'Mind if I go ahead? I've just one can of dog food.' - 'Goodness no. If you're that hungry, go right ahead.'