Rock-paper-scissors Champion Gifts

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

"C'mon men! Our enemies may have rocks but WE have paper! Paper always beats rock!"

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Alarmistclock

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'I'm tired of playing 'Rock, rock rock'.'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

'He's won an exotic holiday to Easter Island and it's gone straight to his head.'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

'Computer virus kills virtual scissors. Virtual scissors cuts Edoc. Edoc covers...'

"Joe, you've got to stop singing 'Rocket Man.' Okay, how about 'Ground control to Major Tom'?"

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

"Now that we're down to three candidates, we're switching to a 'rock, paper, scissors' format."

'Aw, you win - again!'

"Why do you keep choosing scissors when you know she picks rock every time?"

Drug testing for Tour de France.

The First Tattoo

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'

'I hate Mondays!'

I told you, when you chisel a statue, start at the top.

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

"What ya in for kid?" "I did a number on scissors."

The rock-paper-scissors tournament bracket.

"We've got a problem."

Tennis

Sculpture.

An Artist Until the End.

"Daddy, this is my boyfriend, Ben."

'No, Thog. Paper beat rock.'

This Cartoon is Certified Politically Correct

"Kids, it's weird out there. Scissors look scary, but they're harmless. Paper, on the other hand, is incredibly deadly. If you see paper just run as fast as you can."