Rock-paper-scissors Master Gifts

'Aw, you win - again!'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

Desk trays - 'In', 'Out', and 'It depends'.

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

'I'm tired of playing 'Rock, rock rock'.'

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

'Someone round here has to make the important decisions.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

Man throwing stick for dog

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

'Computer virus kills virtual scissors. Virtual scissors cuts Edoc. Edoc covers...'

The Violin Artist

'Your first executive decision?'

'It's walking! It's walking!'

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

'I don't know whether to straddle this issue or dodge it.'

Working at a hospital

Desk boxes: way, no way, could go either way.

College Football Player Cheat Sheet

Winter String Quartet

"Just take a little off the top!"

"Why do you keep choosing scissors when you know she picks rock every time?"

"What ya in for kid?" "I did a number on scissors."

The Birth of Industrial Espionage. (A caveman peers over a small hill while another caveman smashes a smaller rock with a larger rock.)

"Push the paper, Sean. Never pull."

The rock-paper-scissors tournament bracket.

Brandon's thumb wars were always epic.

'I wouldn't worry about it if I were you — a lot of ettins have split personalities.'

"Daddy, this is my boyfriend, Ben."