Scissors Master Gifts

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'C'mon get it straight.'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Be creative...!"

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

Carpenter

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

Funky Chef 1

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Ice Sculpting Class.

Haircuts

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

Too many kooks spoil the Broth.

"One More Swing."

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

'By George, Sir, I've been everywhere, everywhere!...

"Wrong driving range, dummy."

Dueling marionettes.

"One thing's for sure, nobody can fan a ball like you."

Mice spice

'Aw, you win - again!'

"Yes, you can marry my daughter, as long as you get out of the way, please."

Afternoon crafts

Sculptor - "Try not to blink."

Spices.