Scissors Master T-Shirts

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'C'mon get it straight.'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Be creative...!"

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

Carpenter

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

Funky Chef 1

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Ice Sculpting Class.

Haircuts

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

Too many kooks spoil the Broth.

"One More Swing."

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

Dueling marionettes.

'By George, Sir, I've been everywhere, everywhere!...

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

"One thing's for sure, nobody can fan a ball like you."

Mice spice

"Yes, you can marry my daughter, as long as you get out of the way, please."

Carpenter

Spices.

Sculptor - "Try not to blink."

'Nice toss. But if you want a real tight spiral, try getting your elbow up and throwing right over your ear.'