Roald Dahl Fan Gifts

"I don't get stock options and the hours are terrible. But there's a chocolate river. So that's sick."

Occu-Pie Mars

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Reindeer

"It's a sequel to 'The Thinker'. It's 'The Blamer.'"

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

Fly Tightrope walker

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

Year of the Rat

'It wasn't just my own country -- I was without honor everywhere until I found Southern California!'

"And now I will attempt the same feat but without insurance."

"...maybe I'll go to the Rodin Museum..."

'Rodin's wet blanket'

Baroque Bach Mountain

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

Cannon crossing sign for tightrope walker.

'Dali'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

"It says here that you've been fired 126 times! Oh, hang on. I see you were a 'human cannonball' in the circus."

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

Bovine Cannonball

"Whoa, deja  vu!"

"Your Honor this is Exhibit A in the Wallenda Paternity suit."

Pie Rats of the Caribbean.

"Well, looks like someone's parents didn't believe in vaccinations."

Poor beggar being given change by a wealthy rat on the underground/subway

"His forces are massing here, but still no word on where Waldo himself is."

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

Caveman Painting An Anachronistic Piece In The Style Of Warhol

'What else could I have done? My red nose is not that bright anymore.'

"How did you get to be a stuntman..?"

'Ah, my peaceful kneaful, my old nemesis.'

Human cannonball and groupies.