Roadside Grape Quest Gifts

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'I think we can skip the resume.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Wine Lovers

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

Paradise: Collection of wine