Roadside Grape Quest T-Shirts

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

A giant glass of red wine

Wine tasting

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

Wine Lovers

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"Wow, a full vat of grapes in 32 seconds! You're hired!"

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

Paradise: Collection of wine