Road Tripper's Choice Gifts

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Motor Tourism

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kardiff.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Now here's a place I like!'

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

Camping.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Are we broke yet?'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Sometimes Y Turn

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.