Road Tripper At Heart Gifts

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

"A little less on the accelerator, Mr. Benton..."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Kardiff.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Motor Tourism

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

'Now here's a place I like!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Are we broke yet?'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Camping.

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Sometimes Y Turn

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.