Road Trip Fanatic Gifts

'Take one every five miles.'

Traveller with a globe on the front of his car.

'Strange how everyone driving slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster is a maniac!'

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

How am I abducting?

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kardiff.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

'Are we broke yet?'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

Better times ahead.

Yes, That Was The Exit

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"My guess it's guacamole."

YONDER...next 347 miles.

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Street signs you don't want to see.

Sister Cities

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Recalculating!

Be open to help.

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"