Road Trip Fanatic Gifts

'Take one every five miles.'

Traveller with a globe on the front of his car.

'Strange how everyone driving slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster is a maniac!'

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

How am I abducting?

Kardiff.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Are we broke yet?'

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

Better times ahead.

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

Yes, That Was The Exit

Street signs you don't want to see.

"My guess it's guacamole."

Sister Cities

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Recalculating!

Be open to help.

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"