Road Safety Educator Pillows

"We've got to work on your emergency stop, Mr Roberts."

A Deer Traffic Warden.

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

Sand danger

'Your Grounded!'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'I need both hands for steering.'

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

Attention: Speed Troughs

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

How Am I Driving?

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

'Another short-cut, dear?'

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

'Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...'

'Quick, turn the siren on!'