Road Safety Educator Pillows

"We've got to work on your emergency stop, Mr Roberts."

A Deer Traffic Warden.

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Sand danger

'Your Grounded!'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

'I need both hands for steering.'

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

Attention: Speed Troughs

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

How Am I Driving?

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

'Another short-cut, dear?'

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

'Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...'