Road Repair Aficionado Gifts

Self-Serv: Patch the road yourself.

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"Nap time."

'I found another pothole.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

DIY store.

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"I'm done fixing your wheel, but these were left over when I got it put back together."

Four mechanics working on a car

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'

Winter Roadwork...

Death helps with a broken down Hearse

Deux Ex Mechanic

"Judging by all the parts that fell off our car, I must've have hit more potholes than I thought."

'It was nothing serious, just bugs in your radiator grill.'

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'Before I give you the bill, I'm supposed to ask if you'd like me to buy you dinner first.'

Acme Rubber Band Co.

'I've done most of it - You'll only need to put it together again and make it work.'

"Today, we're learning how to change a flat tire."

"We found the reason for that 'whining' noise, someone had left TalkRadio playing."