River Reader Gifts

'Of course I know how to read the water, but I my glasses fell overboard.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

The Solitary 'Pleasure' Fisherman whose one desire is to get away from it all.

Fly Fishing

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Famous Last Words: "Whew! Well, at least the worst is behind us."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Man fishing with large bait

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'Greenwich in the Season'

'Ed missed a nice trout in that hole last week. He takes everything personally.'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"So, what are you reading?"

Angler throwing his fly-book into the river for the fish

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

The Wet Fly Fisherman: He rarely sees his fish until he has hooked it.

Man indignant at having caught no fish

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

TV vs Reading

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

"Have you seen my wife?"