Rivalry Spectator Gifts

Fighting Gondoliers.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Tic-tac-toe

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"Just being proactive."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Fight on the top

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I hate snowboarders!'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

Octopus in the bleachers.

Disraeli's Minority Ministry Losing Popular Support

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

"Doreen, the cat's after the parrot again!"

David Anderson vs. Goliath

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.