Rivalry Raconteur Pillows

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Eat my dust!"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

The Alpha Seltzer

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'Man...You age great!'

Tic-tac-toe

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'The grudge match.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

'Are you blind ref?'

"Just being proactive."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

Fight on the top

'Bad news: the report says it's cheaper if cats make it...'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I hate snowboarders!'