Rivalry Jester T-Shirts

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"This will be hilarious!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The prying mantis,

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Beer Order

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Tennis ball girl.

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

"Sir,your wife is here for a cuddle."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"How nice. A truffle."

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."