Rivalry Roaster T-Shirts

"I know they're our competitors, Benson, but aren't you going a bit over the top?"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'Man...You age great!'

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Chicken

Trash-talkin' artists

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

Fighting Gondoliers.

Cat taunts dog at intersection.

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

'Our competition is quite energetic.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'Why do you always get to be the tanks?'

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

Baseball Angels

'I don't hassle you about YOUR comfort foods.'

'Friends are important...but you need enemies to keep your edge.'

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'