Rivalrous Meditator Gifts

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

"You've been served."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

Lovebird and the Song Birds

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Bob had trouble connecting with nature, whereas nature seemed to have no trouble at all connecting with Bob.

A middle aged cow.

"My master has built himself a "Zen Garden"! Now, I'm the one who's stressed as I'm not allowed in the garden anymore..."

"I've been meditating as hard as I can and nothing happens."

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'Pardon the mess. We just moved in.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings?'

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

Now there's way over a billion of us. What does confucius say about that?

Football prayers.

Yoga studio: In 234 and Out 234.

'Shut up bitch, I'm trying to find my inner calm.'

Horny Monk

"'An easy fly ball to center field' - We'll see about that."