Ironic Meditator Gifts

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

Be Healthy

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Yoga classes door.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Stressed over time management

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Why am I running?

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

James decided to stay in that night.

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

"You've been served."

Free-Floating Anxiety

"I'm going on a retreat."

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Hoarder."

It's A Breeze

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

No cell phones, tv or internet for a week. It's creepy. What's that annoying sound? Silence? It's awful. I can hear myself think!

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'