Ringmaster Of Both Stage And Sport Gifts

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"Stinkin' fake news!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Circus

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

"Smite him, my son!"

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Matador.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

"As soon as I've seen my shrink you can have your rings back."

Mike Tyson