Ringmaster Of Both Stage And Sport Gifts

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Circus

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

"Smite him, my son!"

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Matador.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

'Look out for his low punches.'