Rhyming Rebels Gifts

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

The No No No's

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

Nick Cave.

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

Fuzz - the bass player auditions.

Lou Reed

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

"If you prick a corporation, does it not bleed? If you tickle it, does it not laugh? If you poison it, does it not die?"

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'Moon, June...'

David Cameron and Europe

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"This isn't how the story went at all."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

Blues guitarists gather at the crossroads

'Chairman of the Bard' at a poetry magazine.

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

Musical Mestizo.

"I feel your writing style is a bit old-school."

the world's first music critic...

"The trouble with teaching music is everyone is dancing to a different tune."

Anti-Saxophone

'I'd like to renew my poetic license!'

'Hope I die before I'm reduced to advertising car insurance!'

"It's going to be my first protest song, as soon as I can figure out some words that rhyme with 'Napster,' 'Bertelsmann,' and 'service charge.'"

I rhyme today for I feel great cheer. Listen up, people. I am truly moved. The greatest three words a man can hear. You are pre-approved! Hail the bard of the home-loan sonnet.

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

"Urgent message from Captain Sasson, sir - do you know any words that rhyme with orange?"

Iggy Pop