Retro Western Film Buff Gifts

'It's that builder you accused of being a cowboy. He said he'll be waiting for you outside at high noon.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Billy. The Kid.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Nun Fight.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

"You funnin' me, bub?"

Historic Bank Jobs.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

Crossing the Nachos Grande

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Draw!

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Mama! Aliens.'

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

How witness protection really works...

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

"Uh-oh it's happening aain, the feeling I'm being triggered...."

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."