Retirement Hobbyist Gifts

'Your Father's bought a computer so he can complain constantly about having a virus'

"You're on a what?!"

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Casual skydiving.

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

Old Dog's Home

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

'What's the hardest thing about playing bowls?'

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

"I'd hold off on mowing. Our neighbors are getting pretty agitated."

'If you're such a great estate planner, why aren't you retired?'

I'm Retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"With the Jeter 2000, you'll never have to say goodbye."

Recombinant DNA

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

'The Canary Died Again.'

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

'Growing old gracefully ... But frantically trying to keep in step with the cost of living!'

"The Good news is that a number of GPs have agreed to take action on a number of dangerous 'lifestyle' issues including high levels of stress, long working hours..."

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

"Well Bill, I've asked you in here to discuss any plans you may have for your retirement."

"Dammit! I failed again trying to create a centaur, a minotaur and a mermaid."

"It's nearly perfect, dear...you just have to plant the flowers the coloured side up..."

"So, has Grandpa's 'longevity pay' kicked in yet?"

"I used to be a hunter and gatherer. But since retirement I'm mostly a drinker."

"Drawing blood again?"