Retail Tactician Gifts

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'Daddy, what did you do in the supermarket wars?'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Cut Price

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'She's so put together!'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Takeovers.

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."