Retail Tactician Gifts

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'Daddy, what did you do in the supermarket wars?'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'She's so put together!'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"I shop, therefore I am."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Takeovers.

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.