Resume Writing Fanatic Gifts

"I'm working on my resume. Do you think mentioning I'm a 'Good Boy' is too much?"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Tweaking the CV.

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'Have you got a resume?'

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"I can see here on your résumé that you’d like my job ..."

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"I hope you realise that you'll be starting at the bottom."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'