Resume Writing Gifts

'Why is your resume copyright protected by online-resumes.com?'

'Your resume says you pay attention to detail, which I would find easier to buy if your fly wasn't unzipped.'

Rejected resumes.

"I can see here on your résumé that you’d like my job ..."

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

'Congratulations graduates. We are here to help with your resume preparation and unemployment insurance applications.'

"Can you start the interview without me? I'll be in as soon as I finish my resume."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'No need to come in... you can fax me your resume.'

Working on my resume.

'You don't improve your chances by writing your resume in crayon.'

Welcome to the job market

"Your resume is impressive."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

Tweaking the CV.

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."