Resume Builder Enthusiast Gifts

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

"Humility is a virtue, but not on a resume."

"It's a pretty good resume, but I would have like to see more bells and whistles."

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."