Resume Builder Enthusiast Prints

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Now hiring.

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

"Humility is a virtue, but not on a resume."

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."