Resume Building Baby Pillows

"This is your portfolio. Fill it."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

Constructing your own prison!

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

'How long's he been out there?'

"Well yes, technically, I've only had three kids of my own, but I've raised two cuckoo chicks as well..."

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"Humility is a virtue, but not on a resume."

Building a sandcastle and children's imagination.

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"It's a pretty good resume, but I would have like to see more bells and whistles."

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

'Why is your resume copyright protected by online-resumes.com?'

'Your career is a change management textbook.'