Resume Building Pillows

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'You have an online degree from the college of hard knocks'

'We're looking for bold, imaginative thinking, and judging from the whoppers on your resume, you're our man!'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Your resume says that you were previously a waiter. Can I assume that you're comfortable taking orders?'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'I'm a monarch, but I still pad my resume.'

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"If you used the 'Idiot's Guide To Writing Resumes', try us when we're hiring idiots."

"I was thinking about going into politics... but I've got qualifications."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"I'm sorry, but all candidates for our entry level positions must have experience."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Your career is a change management textbook.'

I'm going to put on my resume, fuel efficiency pioneer.

"It's a pretty good resume, but I would have like to see more bells and whistles."

'Sorry, but I have to put 'Orca': Who would hire a 'Killer Whale'?...'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

Resume Consultant. I can polish up your resume, but I won't be able to pound all the dents. (Published originally on Janurary 8, 2009.)

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"