Family Building Pillows

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

'Ahhh...'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Impressing dad.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."