Restroom Prankster Pillows

Woman squirts water on a smoker in the toilet.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Scotsman in the bath...

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

"Just give me the truth, Doc...I can tell when you're trying to humor me."

"Everyone loved working with Doctor Patel... Beer!"

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Doctor and nurse having a chat.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

Stock Cube Crossing

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

"So laughter isn't the best medicine..."

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'Malpractice? No - it's not our dog.'

'BOy! Talk about organ rejection!'

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

'Yech, there's a worm on my plate!' - 'That's a sausage, you fool.'

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

'I'm afraid the surgeon couldn't perform your operation, because you weren't wearing clean underpants.'

'It seems your heart replaced the 'Boom-Boom' beat with a funny ringtone!'

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

'Well of course they're feathers, it's chicken soup!'