Restless Leg Rebel Gifts

'This one's quite popular with the restless leg crowd.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

100k Desert Crawl

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

A souped up car...

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

Dog Teenagers

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

Driverless Car

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

Beard, socks and sandals.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Isn't 85 the new 55?"

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

Bike Lane

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

"He shows enormous potential."

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'