Restaurant Raver Gifts

"Give us your best table for four."

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"Give him his food."

'Can I get a box for this?'

Preparing for Casual Friday at the Genome Lab

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"Linguini for two?"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

Roadkill Restaurant

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

Three Pigs.

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

" and my husband will have..."

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

Life Discovered on Mars

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

Tonight... Dine At The Terror Room

"I'll have the cheesecake, hold the cake."