Roller Coaster Raver Gifts

'Can I borrow it to go to Mars?'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Very Difficult Conversations

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

End the Winter Blues

Mother Nature's Wild Ride 2007.

Fish talking about fisherman

Couple of Pikeys.

"Like that?"

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Giraffe Rollercoaster

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"Now this is a dog park!"

Preparing for Casual Friday at the Genome Lab

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

'Stocks rose, then dropped on news that life is full of highs and lows.'

Face Painting.

Roller Coaster of Love

"They can run but they won't be able to hide."

'What luck, Mom! There's no line over at the Super-Lippty-Comet Coaster that's even bigger than this one.'

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

It's busy at the amusement park. The adrenaline's been having fun on the roller coaster, but the stomach cell looks queasy on the tilt-a-whirl! The hormones are going into the tunnel of love again, and the helium atoms are heading toward the complaint booth. They're saying the parachute drop didn't work for them. Any other problems down there? Yeah, the white blood cells are being kicked out. Apparently they tried to attack the staph!

Roller Coasters

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

The Day Trader